Friday, April 29, 2005

Jolly Campers

The family and I (the BogMob?) in the car, with tenty things, to Hunstanton for the weekend. If anyone has any old 'fridges, mattresses, car tyres, used motor oil or the like that they'd like thrown away in a SSSI by The Wash, please bring them round to my house by 9:30 tonight.
What?

Thursday, April 28, 2005

A General Election Communication

It has come to our notice via Mr Gamon that a General Election is to be fought next week. Readers will have been waiting for the Owl Pellets "take" on this issue before committing themselves to a Party or individual candidate.

We note with disappointment the lack of a certifiable berk or jerk candidate in our constituency. Where are the successors to Commander Boaks or Jules Nim Bard of yesteryear?

We note with dismay too, the non-appearance this time of the Natural Law Party, who have presumably bounced themselves onto a higher plane.

Here are the talented and interesting individuals hoping to represent our constituency : <linky>.

Boggins will be voting, as usual, for all of them.

Throdkins?

Throdkins.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Not worth buying, really

Some extracts from the Restrictive Covenants on my new house:

2. THE Purchaser will not erect on the said piece
of land any public house beerhouse or house for the
sale of intoxicating liquors or club house where intoxicating
liquors are sold or distributed amongst members or permit
any building to be used for any such purpose or for the
carrying on of any trade or business other than that of a
Solicitor Physician or Surgeon.

4. THE Purchaser will not erect or allow to be erected or
placed upon the said piece of land any hut shed caravan
house on wheels or other chattel intended to be used as
a dwelling or sleeping apartment nor any advertisement
hoarding booth show swing or roundabout.

7. THE purchaser shall within three calendar months from
the date hereof erect a good and sufficient close boarded
fence not less than five feet high along the side or sides
of the said piece or parcel of land hereby conveyed as are
marked 'T' on the said plan and if the Purchaser fail to
erect any such fence within three calendar months from the
date hereof then the Vendor shall have the power to erect
every such fence which ought to have been erected by the
Purchaser or cause the same to be erected and shall be
repaid by or may recover from the Purchaser the cost
of erecting the same. No fence shall be painted or tarred
with any black colouring or tar.

8. PROVIDED always that if any erection or thing shall be
erected upon the said piece of land in contravention of
any of the said covenants the Vendor may break fences and
forcibly enter into the said piece of land and remove such
erection or thing and shall not be responsible for the
safe keeping of anything so removed or for the loss thereof
or any damage thereto.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Arsing about

You've caught me arsing about* with the template again. I obviously have too much time on my hands but, strangely, not enough time today to mend all the things that are now wrong with it.
* "Arsing About" is a technical term we use in the IT community: you will embarrass yourself if you use this expression without being fully aware of all its meanings.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Dr Homewyze is IN

Dear Dr Homewyze

Is it true that the more you pick your nose, the more bogey is created? What is the bodily mechanism behind this, and what evolutionary advantages does my large bogey-count give me?

Biologist, Cambs.

Dr Homewyze replies:



Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834) adds:

"How like herrings and onions our vices are in the morning after we have committed them."

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Families

Sometimes my family makes The Waltons seem like The Osbournes.
Sometimes they make The Osbournes seem like The Waltons. Is public drunkenness such a crime?

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Monday, April 11, 2005

On Crisps

Crisps. You, young Hilda, will call them CHIPS, which is your prerogative.
I have asked Mr Google if crisps were taken on board the Marie Celeste, but he does not know.
We have been looking after the children this last week: we have taken them swimming, we have taken them to the Natural History Museum. We have given them crisps. We are a Good Parent. We are glad it has stopped.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Gone away

I will have nothing to say to the world until 11/4, if then. Have a nice week.

Manhole Covers

All those years ago I tried to tell you that manhole covers were interesting. I was Japanese at heart it seems. See?