Friday, April 30, 2004
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
"I am seriously considering doing an abseil off the Harlequin shopping centre (Watford) to help raise money for the Peace Hospice. Before I commit to them that I will do it I wanted to find out what the level of support would likely be as I have a minimum amount of ?100 to raise to be able to do it. If you think you would like to sponsor me for this cause let me know so I can get my entry form in before I scare myself into changing my mind !!
Yours..shaking in my boots already..
The Peace Hospice is in Watford, Hertfordshire, UK and is a thoroughly good thing.
If you'd like to sponsor her, leave a comment below with suitably disguised-to-prevent-spam email address or other contact method and I'll reply with PayPal details or whatever is needed.
She may be my ex, but I really don't want her to fall off.
It all happens on June 20th.
I know, 0 comments as usual...
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
Friday, April 23, 2004
Bloody Ocean Bloody Finance and all the other leech bloodsucky ambulance chasers on cable TV.
You sit down at a nicely decadent mid-morning time. You've done the school run, all the house stuff is done: you're on the evening shift so you've got an hour before you go. "Oh Good", you say, Ironside's on the TV, I'll sit down and watch that". (You might settle for "Murder She Wrote", but Ironside is pure gold). Now bloody ruin it for me. Every 5. "Credit Cards Out of Control?" "Had an accident in the last 2 years that you can screw out some money for?" "Have you considered a plan for Those Final Expenses?" "CCJs? Bad Credit History?: we'll lend you money, our rates start at just xx%!". "Free DVD player!" "Guaranteed acceptance, no medicals"! "No salesman will call"! Quite the most scandalous are the ones that promise to "unlock" your pension, as if you wouldn't need it later.
Without these crooks I suppose there is no Ironside. I'll read my book instead.
I'll stop now.
Ocean Finance die die die.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
The rules of the game "Yellow Car" are as follows: when travelling with one's sibling or friend in the back of parents' car, the first to spot a yellow car shouts "YELLOW CAR!" very loudly and punches said sibling or friend in that tender spot on the arm just below the shoulder. Game continues until parent pulls over into layby and refuses to continue journey and/or has nervous breakdown.
Friday, April 16, 2004
But I suppose I'm just a wishy-washy fellow-travelling do-gooder who has no desire to bomb anyone back into the stone age. I'll never be a Man. U supporter though.
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
With bugle horne writ in the Hebrew tongue,
Fuming up flounders like a chafing-dish,
That looks asquint upon a Three-mans song:
Or as your equinoctiall pasticrust
Projecting out a purple chariot wheele,
Doth squeeze the spheares, and intimate the dust,
The dust which force of argument doth feele:
Even so this Author, this Gymnosophist,
Whom no delight of travels toyle dismaies,
Shall sympathize (thinke reader what thou list)
Crownd with a quinsill tipt with marble praise.
John Hoskyns (c17)
I've lost the link, because I found this long ago and saved it as text, but thanks, whoever you are....
Mrs Hetty Bimthwot joined HMSO "ooh,ever such a long time ago". She began as a Lubrication Assistant in the now-defunct Trouser Press: no-one really knows what she does now. She last received a pay rise in 1964, still receiving a once-adequate wage of £ 3/8s/6d per week, and a further Disfigurement Allowance of 4 shillings each quarter-day. She has several memories, some fond: "that nice Mr Pillai would come round and sell us home-made bread and butter fingers on his birthday - before the accident".
Her most vivid memory is of a Prime-Ministerial visit. "Mr Attlee didn't actually speak to me but he was ever so nice", she reminisces, "and Mr Pillai brought in some of his lemon-curd barmcakes. They was disgusting".
Hetty has one surviving son, Geoffrey, who manages a retail loofah outlet in Penge and who calls her every fifth Christmas or so. "Everyone's been very kind", she remarks, idiotically. When asked what she'll do with the money raised in her collection she's in no doubt: "I think I'll just drink myself absolutely bandy".
Gary Baker is 103.