I wanted to put this on the company intranet but bottled it...

Longest-serving Employee

Mrs Hetty Bimthwot joined HMSO "ooh,ever such a long time ago". She began as a Lubrication Assistant in the now-defunct Trouser Press: no-one really knows what she does now. She last received a pay rise in 1964, still receiving a once-adequate wage of £ 3/8s/6d per week, and a further Disfigurement Allowance of 4 shillings each quarter-day. She has several memories, some fond: "that nice Mr Pillai would come round and sell us home-made bread and butter fingers on his birthday - before the accident".
Her most vivid memory is of a Prime-Ministerial visit. "Mr Attlee didn't actually speak to me but he was ever so nice", she reminisces, "and Mr Pillai brought in some of his lemon-curd barmcakes. They was disgusting".
Hetty has one surviving son, Geoffrey, who manages a retail loofah outlet in Penge and who calls her every fifth Christmas or so. "Everyone's been very kind", she remarks, idiotically. When asked what she'll do with the money raised in her collection she's in no doubt: "I think I'll just drink myself absolutely bandy".

Gary Baker is 103.