Tobias Smollett (1721 - 1771) was probably the first person to articulate the words Boggins spoke yesterday when, while retrieving old paint and other noxious substances from his cellar, he realised that he had dripped PAINT, of a colour enigmatically named "Sexy Pink", all over the dining room carpet, across the floor, up the patio doors and along the patio.
The words, for which overhaul your copy of "Ferdinand Count Fathom" , and, when found, make a note of, were as follows:
"Oh Fuck."*
*it may be that your copy of Ferdinand Count Fathom (you do have a copy??) does not contain these words. For this you can probably thank generations of pusillanimous editors.
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